Not long ago, I mentioned that one of the things a really like about myself is my hair. I cut my hair really short about a month after Milo was born, and have worn it in some variation of the faux-hawk/swoop ever since, about four years now.
|Can you tell this is my favorite photo of myself, ever?|
I have, on occasion, throughout the past four years gone too long in between haircuts, I know you all know how that goes. It makes me feel not so good about myself when my hair looks grown out and is unstyle-able, especially because my particular haircut, when grown out, looks a lot like a football helmet. I think we can all agree that this is a look that flatters NO ONE, plus it's exactly what I think of as a "mom" haircut, and I'm not ready to resign myself to THAT just yet.
I have not managed to get my hair cut this go around since the last week of December. As in, three months ago. My hair stopped being *my* hair at around the two month mark....then I had TWO rescheduled hair appointments, by which time I had turned a hair corner and re-entered the year 2004, when I was a devotee of the Colleen Haskell cut. I gave in to the ol' Colleen one night when Adrian wanted to take me out to dinner, and I had to do something, ANYTHING to make myself look presentable.
|The 2014 version of my 2004 self.|
Since I have been wearing this longer style, I have gotten a ton of remarks and compliments. And by compliments, I mean I have actually had MORE THAN ONE person say to me, "OMG, I AM SO GLAD YOU GREW YOUR HAIR OUT IT LOOKS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER NOW."
W. T. F.???? I mean, is that supposed to be a compliment? Like, oh GOD Jen, you've looked SO HIDEOUS for the past 4 years, THANK GOD you have come to your senses at last????
This is really causing me some anxiety, people!! I really loved my short hair, I considered it one of my better and more interesting features. A major part of my identity, even. And if I give it up, what does that say about me? About my need to cave in to popular opinion? But, if I've just been deluding myself, and it really DOES look bad on me, and I cut it again ANYWAY, what does THAT say about me???? Am I subconsciously making myself unattractive for some reason?
Does it really matter?
Am I placing WAY TOO MUCH focus on an f-ing hair style?
And just who, exactly, am I trying to please? And is that the right person?
Internet, I need your help.