Monday, March 31, 2014

Identity Crisis!!

I am having a total identity crisis.

Not long ago, I mentioned that one of the things a really like about myself is my hair.  I cut my hair really short about a month after Milo was born, and have worn it in some variation of the faux-hawk/swoop ever since, about four years now.


Can you tell this is my favorite photo of myself, ever?

I have, on occasion, throughout the past four years gone too long in between haircuts, I know you all know how that goes.  It makes me feel not so good about myself when my hair looks grown out and is unstyle-able, especially because my particular haircut, when grown out, looks a lot like a football helmet.  I think we can all agree that this is a look that flatters NO ONE, plus it's exactly what I think of as a "mom" haircut, and I'm not ready to resign myself to THAT just yet.

I have not managed to get my hair cut this go around since the last week of December.  As in, three months ago.  My hair stopped being *my* hair at around the two month mark....then I had TWO rescheduled hair appointments, by which time I had turned a hair corner and re-entered the year 2004, when I was a devotee of the Colleen Haskell cut.  I gave in to the ol' Colleen one night when Adrian wanted to take me out to dinner, and I had to do something, ANYTHING to make myself look presentable.

The 2014 version of my 2004 self.
Here's the thing.

Since I have been wearing this longer style, I have gotten a ton of remarks and compliments.  And by compliments, I mean I have actually had MORE THAN ONE person say to me, "OMG, I AM SO GLAD YOU GREW YOUR HAIR OUT IT LOOKS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER NOW."

W.  T.  F.????  I mean, is that supposed to be a compliment?  Like, oh GOD Jen, you've looked SO HIDEOUS for the past 4 years, THANK GOD you have come to your senses at last????

This is really causing me some anxiety, people!! I really loved my short hair, I considered it one of my better and more interesting features.  A major part of my identity, even.  And if I give it up, what does that say about me?  About my need to cave in to popular opinion?  But, if I've just been deluding myself, and it really DOES look bad on me, and I cut it again ANYWAY, what does THAT say about me????  Am I subconsciously making myself unattractive for some reason?

Does it really matter?

Am I placing WAY TOO MUCH focus on an f-ing hair style?

And just who, exactly, am I trying to please?  And is that the right person?

Internet, I need your help.



Internet, what should I do with my hair?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

15 comments:

  1. It wasn't my vote because the last one was totally the best option, but... the short faux-hawk thing is awesome. Don't listen to the haters.

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    1. I realize I may have skewed my results a little with those last couple of options....but dammit, I can't resist a little Disney-themed humor ;)

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    2. Well THAT'S what makes you you, Jen. No matter what the haircut. :-)

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  2. You know, I have taken some chances with my hair from time to time, much to the chagrin of my mother, and then my husband. But the reality is...it's just hair! And it's YOURS, so forget what anyone else says about it. If you want to rock the fauxhawk (which I wish I could but my stupid Marcel-wave curls disallow) then DO IT. If you want to go long, do it. And the next time someone "compliments" you on how much better you look now that you have been too busy to get it cut, remind them that you are too busy to get it cut because you are filled beyond the top with creativity, active children, and many projects, and that the last thing you actually want to worry about is their approval of YOUR personal presentation to the world. Or maybe a twisted smile, "Uh, thanks. That was kind of rude."

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    1. Thanks, Colleen. I don't know why I let people into my head, you know?

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  3. Also, due to the nature of the posting, I also had "Let It Grow" from the Lorax in my head, not "Let It Go" from Frozen. Both are catchy as hell, though.

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    1. Oh, and my inevitable earworm from the Lorax is "How ba-ah-ah-ad can I be?" ;)

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  4. All I can say is I have been having the EXACT. SAME. EXPERIENCE. It's a similar hurt feeling to the one when I manage to lose weight for a while. On one hand, it's nice that people notice, on the other, it's exactly like you say: thank you for backhandedly dissing all other versions of me. Because you know what? I may have long hair now, or I might be at "goal weight" at some point, but one thing you can count on is that my hair and my body can and will change. These external changes may or may not be by choice. But I can say, ith confidence, that I am never seeking anyone's approval but my own.

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  5. And ha ha ha ha look at my outdated Google icon. Skinny, with short hair!

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    Replies
    1. *whistles, while looking all around the room*

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  6. One more thing: when people compliment my grown-out hair a little too enthusiastically, I like to hit them with, "You know, I really only ever grow my hair out so I can have the satisfaction of cutting it all off again."

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  7. Jen - I voted for the last choice because it was totally the best one. On a slightly more serious note though, I'll say this. A lot of how a hairstyle looks on a person is how comfortable the person is with the cut -- the more you like it, the better you will wear it with confidence, which is always attractive. Personally, I think the super short cut looks fabulous on you, so go ahead and chop it off if that's what you want to do. Of course, compared to mine, your hair is still really short now anyway :-)

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    Replies
    1. Kinda avoided getting a serious poll result, didn't I?

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So, whaddya think?